What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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