ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
