the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
