It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
