Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
barbara walters just said penis...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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