Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
