Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
