The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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