i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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