You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
