I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
