i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
