its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
