There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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