I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
