...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
