You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
