I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
