wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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