Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
