we're chasing vodka with high fives
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm like, not good at living.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
