youre lurking in front of me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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