Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
