i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
