I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
