I must be too annoying 4 u.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize