So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
