Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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