Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
