So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
we have officially lost it.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
