Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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