Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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