Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
