Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
