A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
