no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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