Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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