she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
