People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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