Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
