I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
