I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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