We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
