fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
