He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
