nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
