I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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