I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
