Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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