I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
