people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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