Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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